Thanks all for your input and feedback.
I took a stab at tuning it with a NVNA. I’m sure it’s not as good as it could be, It’s inexpensive equipment so good enough is something I’m okay with for now.
I did ensure my VNA was frequency accurate, thank you for that.
Getting about -70dB with a 25mhz spread from both hi/lo. I don’t have the resolution to get much more and it got to the point where I was just chasing it so I’ll live with -70 for now.
who knows, it’s a cheap duplexer so maybe it can’t even get better than that.
I did happen to connect everything backwards at first which caused an interesting and frantic full volume loop at midnight. Wife was not happy.
Thanks again everyone.