I have all my radios lined up on a desk with chargers touching. 11 HTs of different types and 2 base units. I hear the repeater on all of them when I transmit out on any of them. Desencing has never been an issue for me. I’d bet you’re just to far away. You can kerchunk a repeater but be too far away for it to pick up a voice signal. I’d drive closer and try again. When you hear people on the repeater try again. Ask for a radio check and introduce yourself. What radios are you using? What antennas? How far away are you from the repeater? How is the line of sight? .
you will not be able to talk to your wife’s radio as a test because your transmitting on 467 and she is listening on 462