The choice for a repeater antenna depends on how deep your pocketbook is. The better antennas are all large and have gain measured in dBd. DBd gain is a multiplier over the power radiated from your unity gain J-pole. If a gain figure is published using dBi, subtract 2.1 from the figure to get the true gain of the antenna. So, a 2.1 gain dBi antenna actually has zero or no gain over a half wave dipole. Considered as the best all-round antenna is the CommScope DB 420-B radiating over 8 times more power than its input.
In this discussion the radio make isn't important as the OP has told us he has two choices, channel 17 or 17rp. The channel needing a code is 17rp, the repeater channel rather than the simplex channel, 17.
The best antennas for bandwidth are the ones designed for single band, commercial use. Dual and tri-band antennas are all compromises made to tweak the antenna to work acceptably.
You only need the code in receive if there is interference from another repeater on the same channel. Ussing no code for receive means you will hear all transmissions on that frequency. It's always better to leave the code out of receive except for specific instances with co-channel traffic.
What does the repeater listing show? Typically, you need to enter the tone shown for the repeater in the TC slot. Don't worry about a receive tone, it isn't neeed.
I don't know of any ARES or SKYWARN openings for GMRS. Hams can't connect to GMRS or GMRS to ham radios but that doesn't mean they can't be licensed in both. Ham HH transceivers start around $90 so not much more than GMRS but with a lot more connectivity on 2M and 70cm.
You need to reduce power and check your modulation. Too high of either or both will cause the problems you describe. I would begin by reducing power to a low or mid level if available. The amount of mic gain also plays a part,
4 years to get a petition for recon argued, debated, picked apart and lobbied for is incredibly short. The only ones I've seen that moved faster were when the Commision realized it had made an error. Those are few and far between.
Use the Power Pole connectors between the fuses and the power source. Power Poles use the same housing for inserts rated at 15, 30 and 45A. !5A terminals handle 14Ga wire, 30A for up to 12G and the 45A will take 10Ga and maybe even 8Ga. I only have 10Ga as my heaviest wire so I can't say for certain about the 8Ga.
There are lots of tables on the web that list the current carrying capacity of the different gauges of wire and others that cover the loss or resistance of wire by the foot. The tables from the NEC are primarily for household wiring and not for low voltage DC wiring.
If people are looking for the social aspect of radio, there are two options I know about. Option one, use CB and put up with the garbage and trash on the channels or, two, study and get your amateur license to rag-chew on the amateur frequencies.
SWR is an indicator of where your antenna is the most efficient and the lower the number the more efficient your antenna is. With a difference of less than 1 dB in your readings there is nothing to worry about and your radio will transmit with its maximum power on all channels.
I use CCPS from Amazon. You can get good supplies for radios at Amazon for a third the cost of those sold by the mainstream radio suppliers.
Amazon.com: MEAN WELL original LRS-350-15 15V 23.2A meanwell LRS-350 15V 348W Single Output Switching Power Supply : Electronics
The Mean Well (meanwell) brand is used by several Part 90 organizations I used to assign frequencies for.
Whichever antenna or mount you decide to use, the key is to mount it as high as possible as height increases the range you will cover when transmitting.