I can agree with your statement with emphasis on the word should. There are too many variables regarding antennas to make the statement true in all instances.
The PSTN, or telephone network, has evolved over the past 30 years to where it is also a packet switched network as it changes its transport medium from copper to fiber. The changes began before the breakup of the Bell network with the Long Lines or long distance service replacing microwave links with fiber. This has been going on since the late 70's. I doubt if there are any microwave links carrying interstate traffic anymore. There may be a few links remaining for local and intrastate but even local service is being converted to fiber with the copper retirement programs going on in many of the companies.
The frequencies also need to be reversed on the repeater. A repeater listens on the high frequency and transmits on the lower frequency. Your radio is programmed High out, Low in; just the opposite of the repeater.
Yes, and I answered the exact question asked. The code goes in the memory for channel 17rp. The radio make and model have no bearing on which memory gets the code.
You are correct in thinking the 5/8 would have a better radiation angle but look into using a cookie sheet or piece of sheet steel from Ace Hardware for the magnet mount. Put it on top of a bookcase or shelving unit in a closet for added height. Height is even more important than the radiation angle.
The choice for a repeater antenna depends on how deep your pocketbook is. The better antennas are all large and have gain measured in dBd. DBd gain is a multiplier over the power radiated from your unity gain J-pole. If a gain figure is published using dBi, subtract 2.1 from the figure to get the true gain of the antenna. So, a 2.1 gain dBi antenna actually has zero or no gain over a half wave dipole. Considered as the best all-round antenna is the CommScope DB 420-B radiating over 8 times more power than its input.
In this discussion the radio make isn't important as the OP has told us he has two choices, channel 17 or 17rp. The channel needing a code is 17rp, the repeater channel rather than the simplex channel, 17.
The best antennas for bandwidth are the ones designed for single band, commercial use. Dual and tri-band antennas are all compromises made to tweak the antenna to work acceptably.
You only need the code in receive if there is interference from another repeater on the same channel. Ussing no code for receive means you will hear all transmissions on that frequency. It's always better to leave the code out of receive except for specific instances with co-channel traffic.
What does the repeater listing show? Typically, you need to enter the tone shown for the repeater in the TC slot. Don't worry about a receive tone, it isn't neeed.
I don't know of any ARES or SKYWARN openings for GMRS. Hams can't connect to GMRS or GMRS to ham radios but that doesn't mean they can't be licensed in both. Ham HH transceivers start around $90 so not much more than GMRS but with a lot more connectivity on 2M and 70cm.
You need to reduce power and check your modulation. Too high of either or both will cause the problems you describe. I would begin by reducing power to a low or mid level if available. The amount of mic gain also plays a part,
4 years to get a petition for recon argued, debated, picked apart and lobbied for is incredibly short. The only ones I've seen that moved faster were when the Commision realized it had made an error. Those are few and far between.
Use the Power Pole connectors between the fuses and the power source. Power Poles use the same housing for inserts rated at 15, 30 and 45A. !5A terminals handle 14Ga wire, 30A for up to 12G and the 45A will take 10Ga and maybe even 8Ga. I only have 10Ga as my heaviest wire so I can't say for certain about the 8Ga.
There are lots of tables on the web that list the current carrying capacity of the different gauges of wire and others that cover the loss or resistance of wire by the foot. The tables from the NEC are primarily for household wiring and not for low voltage DC wiring.
If people are looking for the social aspect of radio, there are two options I know about. Option one, use CB and put up with the garbage and trash on the channels or, two, study and get your amateur license to rag-chew on the amateur frequencies.
SWR is an indicator of where your antenna is the most efficient and the lower the number the more efficient your antenna is. With a difference of less than 1 dB in your readings there is nothing to worry about and your radio will transmit with its maximum power on all channels.