The "travelers tone" was something suggested in a magazine many years ago and never completely caught on. IRC, it was back when your GMRS license had to pick 2 frequencies, and you would choose one, and put the "traveler" as your second. You still occasionally find the 141.3 tone used for repeaters, and that tone is generally (not always) considered an open invitation when you come across it, such as the Gatlinburg repeater.
As for "band plan", pick what works for your family around your intended operation area and move on. If you show up to an event, and they publish a frequency/channel/tone, use that, but in general, since it's all shared spectrum, operate as normal and if you find overwhelming interference, then move channels.
I know some states have tried to make a standard known for "when lost call" frequency and tone choice, but it's based on FRS, and there isn't a massive monitoring network like the coast guard has to cover the entire coastline, so the chances of being in reach of someone else that will recognize the call and are in a position to "help" is very slim. You are better off using 911 text over satellite (now offered on almost any phone produced in the last 18 months), or having other alternative means (Garmin Inreach).
To sum it up, use GMRS as best you can (and can train the family members), but don't depend on others infrastructure.